10 Things Every Cat Parent Knows

  • 1. If a cat falls asleep on you, you are now stuck there for the next ten hours.

We’ve all been there. One moment you’re lounging on the couch, watching your favorite TV show after work, and then the cat jumps on your lap and settles in. Your leg cramps, or you have to get to the remote, or you need to go to the bathroom, but you just can’t bring yourself to disturb that little sleeping ball of fluff. Or, if you’re like me, you have several balls of fluff trapping you in your corner of the couch.

  • 2. If your cat shows her belly, you know that it’s a trap.

Sure, she looks cute and sweet – who can resist those innocent eyes and that fuzzy belly? But the minute you touch that sweet fuzzy belly, she’s all claws and teeth.

  • 3. Cats get the zoomies at dusk and dawn.

You want those extra five minutes of sleep before you have to get up and get ready for work? Or you’re just settling in for the evening with a good book and all seems peaceful? Forget it. Your cat will be zooming all around the house, racing across your legs (or your head, which has happened to me), and just making all kinds of noise. Such is her inclination at bedtime and the morning, when throughout the day she mainly slept.

  • 4. That expensive cat bed or awesome Jackson Galaxy toy you ordered? The cat prefers the box it came in.

You thought that new cat toy looked really cute, like something that would entertain your cat for hours. But when you present it to her, she bats it around for two seconds and then commences to chew on the packaging. Or that beautiful plush cat bed that came in the mail? She hides in the box it came in and then falls asleep on the floor. Right next to the expensive cat bed.

  • 5. You’re always covered in hair (and that brand-new, never-been-out-of-the-closet black shirt? Yup, it already has cat hair.)

You never have enough lint rollers. You vacuum each day but somehow there is still hair floating around – how can that be? And you get dressed up for a night out, and you look down and see your cat’s fur clinging to your sleeve. Or worse…you sit down to eat dinner and what’s that on the edge of your plate, mingled with the spaghetti sauce? Yup, it’s a cat hair.

  • 6. You may not be able to have things (particularly fragile things) on any tables or counters or TV stands or bookshelves, etc.

The cat will just knock them down. And it’s quite a feat actually. My cat will manage to jump high enough to reach the books on the third highest shelf and pull them down. I’ll find them with her teeth marks in their covers, sprawled on the floor. I can’t have real candles or else I risk my cat hurting herself on the flame, or causing a small fire. Suffice it to say I’ve invested a lot in battery-operated candles. And forget about putting something like a crystal vase on the coffee table. My cat looks at those pretty breakable things as a challenge.

  • 7. You’ve learned to work with cat butt constantly on your computer keyboard.

Sometimes, our cats just want our attention. And when you’re working on something – like this blog post – she will plop down on top of your laptop and dkshjgekahnn54jrsh…. Sorry, that was Polly, my cat’s doing. I don’t know what she was trying to type.

  • 8. The cat does not belong to you, you belong to the cat.

She marks you with her head-butting. She rubs up against your leg, against your furniture – or should I say, her furniture. Because really, this is her house. You just live there to feed her and clean her litter box. But she appreciates it! Cats choose who their person is. I’m happy to have the love of a sweet little feline.

  • 9. Cats are not indifferent.

They just do things on their own time, at their own pace. If they want affection, they’ll seek you out. If they just want to nap, they’ll walk away from your cooing and your pspspspsps sounds.

  • 10. Life is much more fulfilling and much more interesting with a cat. Or any pet for that matter.

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